haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
