brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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