Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
