i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
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