what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I could fuck to npr.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Randomize
