Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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