this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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