He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
