Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
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