When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize
