I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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