jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
