is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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