There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Randomize
