what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
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