i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
