bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I want a musical about memes.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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