I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
