Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
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