You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
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