May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Randomize
