I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Randomize
