Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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