I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
