There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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