i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Randomize
