took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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