You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
