It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Randomize
