ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Randomize
