you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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