Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
