Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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