There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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