I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
