Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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