porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
