mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
