by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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