that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
