I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
