let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Randomize
