So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
