Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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