yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
