I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
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