the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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