He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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