Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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