There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
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