How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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