The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
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